I understand that Valentine's Day is a commercial ploy designed to sell cards and promote sweets. I get it. Spending too much on flowers and dinner doesn't equate to love for me. As someone who is single, this consumer display is a turn-off.
Rather than indulging in chocolates and feeling isolated, or engaging in overpriced courtship rituals, I encourage you to embrace this Valentine's Day as an opportunity to explore the various meanings of love, as the Greeks defined it.
Ads may have diluted the breadth and depth of the word love to describe a car or hamburger, but it wasn't always so. The Greeks had no less than six words for six different kinds of love:
Eros - sexual passion
Philia - deep friendship
Ludus - playful love
Agape - love for everyone
Pragma - longstanding love
Philautia - love of the self
This Valentine's Day, I want to inspire you to give and receive at least one of these love expressions.
To do so, I'm sharing a recipe to make your very own love potion, inspired by the Nine of Pentacles.
Love Potion No.9 with the Nine of Pentacles
"Time for a love potion, a little sweet and spice Throw it all in a cauldron, mix it up real nice Fire in my eyes, stir counterclockwise"
- Tara Benjamin & Rajat Singh
You've heard the song Love Potion #9, but have you met the Nine of Pentacles?
She is a welcome guest in any reading. This card is also my favorite personal anchor card. Whenever I am feeling out of sorts, ungraceful, insufficient, or overreaching, I call upon her for support. The Nine of Pentacles epitomizes abundance, wisdom, patience, experience, and inner satisfaction.
She's like Jasmine of Aladdin. Sure, she's got a pet tiger and an aviary, but it's no big deal. She owns many nice things because she knows how to care for them. They don't own her. She will not abandon her inner compass for anything or anyone.
In the Nines of the Minor Arcana, we've learned what it means to work with that suit and its element.
The Pentacles are earth elemented. They speak to our beliefs and our bodies.
When we arrive at the Nine of Pentacles, we're in the trophy room of what it means to be rooted in our bodies and supported by our beliefs.
In the Smith Rider Waite, a stunning noblewoman is depicted wearing an elegant robe within a verdant garden filled with ripe grapes, encircled by Pentacles.
A falcon is perched on one gloved hand, prepared to seek whatever she may ask, but at this moment it has its blinders on. They are both content to enjoy the beauty of the day and the abundance of the garden. We also see a tiny snail in the foreground, a reminder to take things slowly. When we cultivate a garden within ourselves, we gain access to the wisdom of the Nine of Pentacles.
Though Valentine's Day might try and make you question your 'relationship status', the Nine of Pentacles teaches us how to feel taken with ourselves.
TO BEGIN
You're going to need a jar with a lid for this exercise. It can be as big or as small as you like. Smaller jars are obviously better if you want to carry your potion with you, and larger jars are great if you have a lot to contribute! It's all about the potency of your intention. Since this is a No.9 potion, you'll want to include at least nine of the ingredients, but feel free to add more. This recipe will be an expression of your love, so go ahead and change, add, or subtract any of the ingredients below.
Suggested Ingredients:
A few drops of filtered water, for purity and intuition
Brown sugar, to make your creation sweet
Honey, to give it sticking power
Rose petals, to reflect the beauty of your love
Lavender, for calming presence and clarity
Rosemary, so you may remember who you truly are
Mint, to keep it fresh
Sage, for wisdom. Write your intentions on the leaves in red ink
Cinnamon, for heat and passion
Pink sea salt, for protection
Pink peppercorn, to give your intentions a kick
Currency, to remind you your love is valuable
A Crayon, to remind you that love is an act of creation
A Pink Candle, to seal in all that goodness
You may also want to include your favorite flower, a scent, or a lock of your lover's hair. Remember, This creation is a reflection of your love, so include whatever resonates with you.
1) Setting The Scene:
Before crafting your love potion, it's essential to cultivate a loving mindset. Begin with a gentle stretch, then find a comfortable seat and take some mindful deep breaths.
Start observing your breath. Consider this exercise like viewing your home's interior with fresh, curious eyes. You might be as familiar with your inhale and exhale as you are with the items on your shelf, but take the time to revisit your breath and its connection to your body and spirit. Feel as though the breath is offering you a guided tour. Picture yourself seated comfortably, overlooking a beautiful valley.
With the breath, go ahead and allow the word agape and the concept of love for creation to fill this beautiful space. With each inhale, take in the beauty of this vista, and with each exhale, feel into a sense of care and benevolence for all creation.
2) Feeling into Love Notice where in your body you are feeling the most resonant. What is the quality of this energy? Does it feel youthful and uplifting? Is it playful like a puppy? Is it strong? Stay in observation mode. Permission whatever shows up to just be, as you follow the breath, your tour guide. That permission and observation can extend to the inner critic too. When we perform loving-kindness meditations, it's common for feelings of fear and judgment to show up. Just observe. If sitting in agape love kicks up a narrative that you are too much, not enough, or anything scary, offer those feelings and stories of love, just as they are, remembering that feelings are always valid and not always true.
3) Concoct Your Potion Now that you are in the agape energy, let go of your meditation focus and assemble your ingredients. Light your candle and take a few deep breaths before placing each item into your jar. As you place each element in, state aloud your intention for what this ingredient means to your love. For example, "| add this cinnamon for passion and heat in my eros love" or, "I add this brown sugar for the sweetness in all of my friendships." Since you are capable of experiencing all six expressions of love at once, you can add elements for all six into your jar. No matter how many expressions you choose, and if you only choose one, begin with Philautia - love of self. As Ru Paul preaches, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?"
4) Seal In That Magic
When you have all your elements inside your jar, place the lid on it and close it up. Drip the wax from your candle over the top to seal in all those juicy love vibes.
Remember, this Valentine's Day ritual is supported by the Nine of Pentacles. She is grounded in support from divine love. She knows that her self-expression is just that, an expression of the Divine.
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